How I Added Four Inches To My Waistline In Just Two Days!

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With LSPR behind me, I was finally getting back into my fitness groove.  Backcountry skiing is tough, in that it requires good lungs and the ability to bounce off things well, so going into the season in good shape is really important.  

Anyway, I had last week all planned out, hit the gym every morning, get some mountain biking in, maybe even ride into work, and generally get some quality rest and eat well. So Tuesday night, I head out to get a quick little mountain bike ride in- nothing major, just enough to spin the legs up. 

Anyway, I'm ripping down the Villi Maki trail out at Churning Rapids when I think to myself, "You know self, you could lose traction real easy on all these leaves on the ground."

"Good point!", I respond as I apply the brakes.  

"Kkkkkksssshhhhh......", goes the front tire as it locks up on the slippery leaves, just before tucking in and sending me flying over the bars.   

I think this crash is deserving of extra points as I managed to maintain enough velocity to continue sliding *uphill* for several feet. Sadly though, my joyride eventually finished and my bike saw fit to attack me from behind, just in case I hadn't had enough.  After the leaves settled, I was in one of those moments when the pain starts to build up and you quietly wish you could maybe just black out for a little while.  

Sadly, such was not the case. Although I only took minor abrasions, I knew things were Not Good At All and limped my way out of the woods.  As a volunteer fire fighter with training in first aid, I knew what the next steps I had to take were. I immediately loaded me and my bike in my car and rushed off to Karvakko's for a sixer of Bell's "Two Hearted Ale".  You know, for medicinal purposes....  

Things are kind of fuzzy after that, but I was confronted with a new problem the next day.  None of my pants fit. At all.  My left love handle had swelled up to 4 times it's usual size, adding 4 inches to my waistline.  I also couldn't really walk very quickly, and any transition between sitting, standing, or lying down made me want to pass out.  So I stayed at home, and avoided having to deal with that whole pants thing.   

The next day, I managed to squeeze my increasingly black and blue torso into some ski pants, but the elastic waistband was proving rather uncomfortable. Friday though, I had my true epiphany....


So I purchased a pair on my way into work, and it's become one of those life altering moments. I may never wear pants with a waistband again!  So comfortable! So free!  It's like bib shorts, but a million times better.  

Eventually, through a careful regimen of Bell's products, I've been able to nurse myself along and finally get back out on the bike this weekend for 25 miles of two-tracking and bushwhacking.  Of course, now my entire left torso is black and blue and my waist is still 4" larger than usual. But with my trusty new overalls and continued consumption of Bell's "Best Brown Ale", I should be back to normal soon. Or at least get the other love handle up to a similar size.    

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